If Tears Could Heal
by Fangurl Phantomhive
Summary: (Kuroshitsuji High universe) What if Eric had been the one who found Alan after he cut himself? What if Eric's tears could heal Alan's wounds? Just a little 'what if' fanfic I made in the middle of the night when I couldn't sleep. Eric/Alan


**So to all my readers who have read/are reading 'Kuroshitsuji High', remember the chapter where I found Alan after he cut himself because of something he saw over Skype with Eric? Well this is kinda a what if scenario of what might happen if Eric had been the one to find out Alan cut himself, sort of like an alternate scenario. There's lots of fluff in the end too, hope you enjoy! - Fangurl Phantomhive**

Alan let the knife fall out of his hand and onto the floor as the blood on the blade soaked into the carpet. The brunette felt tears slip out of his eyes as he pressed his face into his pillow. His bedroom was filled with silence, except for his occasional shuttered cries. Alan allowed his blood to drip from his wounds, roll down his arms, and fall onto the ground. Catching Eric with another boy finally drove Alan over the edge. In blind rage, Alan had hit Eric, called him names, and told him he never wanted to see him again.

Now that Alan was lying alone on his bed in the dark crying, he couldn't help but want to take back some of those words, just so he could talk to Eric right now. Alan closed his eyes and cried into his pillow, not noticing that his phone lit up with a text message notification. It was from Eric, which read that he was coming over to check on him and talk with him about what Alan saw.

A few minutes later, there was a knock on his bedroom door, followed by the words "Alan, can I please come in?"

The brunette opened his eyes and immediately recognized Eric's voice. He muttered almost inaudibly "Yes."

Eric opened up the door to Alan's room and asked "How come you're lying here in the dark?"

"Because sometimes darkness seems to be my only friend," Alan replied.

Eric found his way over to Alan's nightstand and turned on the lamp. The blonde looked down at his best friend and saw the self-harm wounds on his arms, and the knife that lie on the floor by the bed. "Alan, what the hell did you do to yourself?" Eric demanded as he looked around for some Kleenex to wipe up Alan's bloody arm.

"This is my outlet for my built up anger Eric, it has been for a while," Alan answered as Eric gently cleaned his best friend's arm.

"Alan, you're so fucking smart, but you choose such a stupid outlet for your anger," Eric scolded, which caused Alan to start to cry again.

"Maybe it's cuz I feel like sometimes I have nowhere else to turn!" Alan yelled. "Especially since you're off with someone else and don't have time to be around me."

"Did you hurt yourself because of what happened today at school?" Eric questioned.

Alan lowered his head and whispered "Yes."

Eric stood up and silently walked around Alan's bedroom for a few seconds before sitting back down next to him and asking quietly "Why would you do that?"

"I didn't feel like I was good enough for you," Alan confessed, with his head still lowered.

Eric lifted Alan's face to look at him before the blonde gently kissed Alan's lips. As he kissed him, Alan noticed that Eric's face was becoming wetter. Opening his eyes, Alan pulled away and saw that Eric had begun crying. "Do not ever think that Alan," Eric replied as he gently touched the brunette's face. "You are the most beautiful person in my world, and I think you're perfect just the way you are."

The blonde kissed him again as he laid Alan down on the bed and started to hover over him, running his hands up Alan's shirt slowly before Alan stopped him. "I don't want you to see my other scars," Alan muttered.

"You've hurt yourself before?" Eric asked.

"Yes, numerous times," Alan stated.

Eric was silent for a moment before pressing another kiss on Alan's lips and whispering "Let me count your scars Alan."

"Why would you wanna do that?" Alan wondered.

"Because I want to count the number of times you needed me and I wasn't there," Eric responded.

Alan felt his heart drop from his chest to his stomach as Eric kissed him once more. Tears slid out of the corners of Alan's eyes as Eric proceeded to find and kiss every scar on Alan's body; from the ones on his arms, wrists, stomach, chest, and shoulders to the ones on his legs, knees, and hips.

"Fifty five, fifty five times I wasn't there for you," Eric whispered in shock as he lay down beside Alan and pulled him closer, running his hands up the brunette's back. "I'm so sorry Alan."

Hearing his best friend cry made Alan begin to cry again. Alan reached up and kissed Eric's lips and wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck. "Eric, please don't cry," Alan pleaded as he wiped the tears from Eric's eyes.

Eric took one of Alan's hands and kissed it. He kissed each of his fingers and kissed the freshly made scars on the brunette's wrist. "Alan, please don't hurt yourself because of me ever again," Eric replied. "I'm not worth it."

"That's not true, you mean everything to me, and are worth every bit of pain I've endured," Alan whispered.

Kissing Alan again, Eric stated "I love you Alan Humphries, and I promise I will never let anything like this happen to you again." Interlacing his hand with Alan's, Eric continued "If anything ever happened and I lost you forever, I wouldn't be able to go on."

"I will never leave you Eric, I love you too much," Alan whispered as he nudged his face against the blonde's. Eric wrapped his arms around Alan and kissed his best friend's lips once again before turning off the lamp on Alan's bedside table.


End file.
